When I am afraid, this thing happens.
I freeze into a static shape. I become an immovable ball of discomfort.
In these moments, I can see the other side of my darkness - the place where the breath breathes - where the acceptance eases - where the Love mends, but I can’t figure out how to get there. Sometimes, I simply can’t find the passageway that takes me from fear to Love. From pain to healing. From restriction to release.
A welcome revelation reminded me recently that if I want to heal, it is my responsibility to steadfastly construct and tend my own passage.
Minding the tunnel that takes us from fear to Love, I do believe it’s the most necessary project we’ve been hired to complete.
Q: Who actually hired us to do this?
A: Our spirit/heart/soul. You know, the boss of the unseen.
So my goal isn’t to become a woman without fear. My goal isn’t to wrestle my fear into non-existence.
As long as we live as humans in a dualistic world, fear will remain. My goal is to build, tend and learn the passageway between my fear and my Love. My goal is to find and feel the texture of the tunnel that leads me home.
Q: Where is home?
A: Home is not a place. Home is a living entity.
Muttered under breath: That’s abstract.
Additional Answer: Home is Love. Love is a living entity that is not bound by time and space.
That’s too simple and also too confusing.
Yes. Stay with me.
I want to know the tunnel between my fear and my Love so intimately that I can walk it with my eyes closed, when I am completely mapless, when the ground is quaking beneath my feet. I want the route to vibrate in my cells, so I can reach out my hand to others and guide them home when they are lost.
Lately I have developed a collecting hobby. I am collecting materials and tools for my fear-to-Love passage project.
I am keenly searching for the things that help me resonate with Love so I can navigate closer towards her frequency.
It is one of the best ways I’ve spent my time. Ever.
Some of the things I’ve been collecting include:
Now let me tell you about my very favorite thing that I’ve collected.
It is my Holy Yes.
My holy yes is the YES I say when the landscape is charged and the emotions are sharp. It’s the YES I say to the responsibility I have for everything I feel and enter into. It’s the YES I utter gratefully into the mystery verse, knowing that I am in a slow and beautiful process of remembrance and the only ticket to ride is this one word.
I am here.
I will do this.
YES. YES. YES.
After collecting these treasures, it becomes my joy to care for them and polish them until they glow like spiritual warrior ninja flashlights or constellations or stalactite clusters.
As I am presented with opportunities daily to travel the sacred space between fear and Love, I can reach into my tool belt and retrieve my magic talismans.
Tell me sweet friends, what are your talismans?
Because you deserve all the support you can get.
Fear is no joke. But it is an illusion.
It is the poison and truly, we are the antidote.
Love rises again and again and it requires us.
Devotion has no alternate agenda. It is the heart becoming everything.
You’ve got this. I believe in you.
Yes. Yes. Yes.